Unloved, Annoyind, and Disgusting
by Selia Sutcliff
Summary: Alois Trancy may seem like a happy, wacky little child, but inside the Trancy Estate, it's a whole different story. So many bad thoughts go through Alois's head. Includes Self harm. May be triggering
1. Chapter 1

On a spring day what most boys do is run outside and run around. But for Alois Trancy, it was different. On a spring day Alois would reflect on his past and think about how others view him. His thoughts are never positive when he does this. Alois thinks about how Ciel is loved by Sebastian and Alois's own butler, Claude. Alois tried multiple times to gain Claude's love, but nothing seemed to work.

A few years ago Alois started a habit. He used a razor blade and dragged it across his skin. Within seconds blood would poor out of his flesh. Alois attempted this today. The words wandering his mind were unloved, annoying, and disgusting. Alois couldn't help but cry when he began to cut and think of those words, unloved, annoying, and disgusting. He dragged the blade deeper and deeper into his flesh. Alois was breathing heavily. Alois couldn't be controlled, he was resisting the pain.

Alois didn't notice the loud knocks outside of his bedroom door. Alois felt numb. Then the door broke open. It was Hannah. She rushed over to Alois's side. She grabbed the razor from him.

"Give that back Hannah!" Alois whispered harshly while trying to hide his wrist.

"Why do you have this?" Hannah asked.

"I was…. shaving." Alois responded.

"Give me your arm Alois." Hannah ordered. Alois slapped Hannah in the face with his wounded arm.

"Don't you dare tell me what to do!" he yelled at her. Hannah could see the cuts on his wrist.

"Why do you do this to yourself?" Hannah asked calmly while getting up and gently grabbing Alois's arm. Alois didn't back away. Alois fell to the floor crying.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry." He cried

"What do you have to be sorry for?" Alois looked up at Hannah with puffy red eyes.

"For everything! For being annoying, abusive, disgusting." The three words popped into Alois's mind. Unloved, annoying, and disgusting. Hannah crawled down to his level.

"You aren't annoying, abusive, and disgusting. Alois, you are loved." Hannah whispered to Alois. Alois looked up at her thinking, can demons read minds?

"Where did you get the idea I feel unloved from?" Alois asked feeling sort of invading.

"Your eyes do the talking." Hannah said

"Let's clean your arm up, and we could talk about this more."

Hannah and Alois got up, but waiting at the door was Claude. Claude adjusted his glasses and sighed.

"So this is what my highness does on a beautiful spring day?" Claude laughed to himself.

"How strange is it, that a young, happy boy could possibly be so depressed." Hannah glared at Claude.

"Why do you hate me?" Alois asked Claude.

"You spend so much time with Phantomive, and you love him, but you hate me, why?" Alois asked while getting choked up.

"Why would I hate you? I don't show emotion well. The only reason I obsessed over Ciel, is because you ordered me too capture him." Claude said while smirking.

"Claude, please don't ever leave me!" Alois said while running to Claude clinging to Claude's leg.

"Yes, your Highness."


	2. Chapter 2

It was routine that Alois would mutilate his body but Hannah had to keep watch. Alois dropped the razor that he was slashing his wrists with.

"Claude will never understand!" he screamed to Hannah who was watching Alois mutilate his body.

"Hannah?" Alois whispered.

"Yes your highness?" Hannah answered trying to swallow her tears.

"Am I a monster?" Alois held up his wrist.

"No, of course not, but what would drive you to do this?" Hannah gently picked up the razor from the ground. She put it in her pocket.

"Hannah you bitch, I need that!" Alois yelled as Hannah was walking away to get him a wet cloth and bandages for his self-inflicted wounds.

"I can't let you do this to yourself anymore."

Alois cupped his hands and pulled them to is face and sobbed.

"It's all Claude's fault!" he screamed.

"I want Ciel! I need Ciel! He can stop me from doing this shit… I love Ciel."

"But why do you hate Claude?" Hannah asked.

"I don't… I love him too." He cried more.

Alois pulled his bloody wrist to his mouth and licked the red liquid streaming out his wrist.

"I'm going to have to stich up your cuts again. Unlike Claude I don't want you dead…" Hannah froze.

"What?" Alois asked.

"Claude is hungry, very hungry."

Alois melted to the floor.

"I… I thought Claude loved me?"

Hannah didn't answer; she knew she had said too much.

"Give me the damn razor Hannah."

"No." Hannah whispered and looked down.

"Was that a bloody NO Hannah?"

Hannah didn't answer again. Alois ran over to Hannah and slapped her across the face. Hannah grabbed Hannah's bloody wrist that had slapped her. Alois angrily looked away.

"I'm sorry." He whispered.

"I will get you Ciel…"

"Thank you!" Alois cried


	3. Chapter 3

It was routine that Alois would mutilate his body but Hannah had to keep watch. Alois dropped the razor that he was slashing his wrists with.

"Claude will never understand!" he screamed to Hannah who was watching Alois mutilate his body.

"Hannah?" Alois whispered.

"Yes your highness?" Hannah answered trying to swallow her tears.

"Am I a monster?" Alois held up his wrist.

"No, of course not, but what would drive you to do this?" Hannah gently picked up the razor from the ground. She put it in her pocket.

"Hannah you bitch, I need that!" Alois yelled as Hannah was walking away to get him a wet cloth and bandages for his self-inflicted wounds.

"I can't let you do this to yourself anymore."

Alois cupped his hands and pulled them to is face and sobbed.

"It's all Claude's fault!" he screamed.

"I want Ciel! I need Ciel! He can stop me from doing this shit… I love Ciel."

"But why do you hate Claude?" Hannah asked.

"I don't… I love him too." He cried more.

Alois pulled his bloody wrist to his mouth and licked the red liquid streaming out his wrist.

"I'm going to have to stich up your cuts again. Unlike Claude I don't want you dead…" Hannah froze.

"What?" Alois asked.

"Claude is hungry, very hungry."

Alois melted to the floor.

"I… I thought Claude loved me?"

Hannah didn't answer; she knew she had said too much.

"Give me the damn razor Hannah."

"No." Hannah whispered and looked down.

"Was that a bloody NO Hannah?"

Hannah didn't answer again. Alois ran over to Hannah and slapped her across the face. Hannah grabbed Hannah's bloody wrist that had slapped her. Alois angrily looked away.

"I'm sorry." He whispered.

"I will get you Ciel…"

"Thank you!" Alois cried


End file.
